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Field Twips

*writen in red crayon in his school excercise book*

Hobbit’s Field Twip

Today techur, took us too a plase calld the boredlands. We went and brought sandwiches wiv us incase we got all hungwy. We looked at lots of plants and trees and rocks and then Mr Jones took our picture. Then we saw a fluffy thingy that Mr Jones called a dog, it was nice and sniffed my shoes, so it wasnt very smart. Then we played tip but techur said no and maid me stand by sum rocks cause i used a word i herd the big kids say, and he sed i need to do lines. :( I got very bored cause the rocks were dull and I wunted to see the primativs that teach was talking about. So I got a good idea, while Mr Jones was hittin Gimblett for playing tip, I snuk away using my dimension door. I was well clever cause I out thunk teach. Then I found some privativs! They were very intertest…internet….grrr…they looked very good, one was all shiny and made of metal, like a robot except it had pink bits that were real. One had long black hair, and one was all dressed in white, and one was all in green, and once was dressed in lots of colours and smilled alot and had pigtails and a ballon. I thought these people wud be more fun than teach so i tipped the one with big hair, i was well sneaky cause i blinked way behind another of the people and tipped him too. :) But they didnt blink after me, so i appeared in fwunt of thm and sed hello, they were very shocked and one didnt have any eyes and a lot looked all hurt and messy with blood. The smily one was very friendly and asked me where i was from so i said i came from the 5th layer of the abyss, i dont know what that is but I herd some of the big kids say that they wunt to go there so it must be kool. Then i asked the happy one if he wud like to play tip, he sed he didnt now how, so i told him and i tipped him, he sed “owwie” and runned after me lots, then i got tired and lied down so he got me. :( I dont like being it. They were nice primitivs. Its a shame teach didnt let us kepp wun as a toy. Then the rest of the class found me! I told teach that sum were all owwie but teach wus annoyed cause i runned off. Then the big shiney metal wun talked to teach, he looked worried and was very loud and shouty. He had pointy things called swords which teach told us that people used before they invented laser cannons and planet killer barrages. I laughed cause they looked silly, they said they were a partee, which was strange cause only the one called biscuit looked like he wus at a parti. I like parties cause someitmes i get presents and cake. I like chocolate the best. I like biscuits too, but the one i met wasnt made out of chocolate. The primatives were very funny lookin so me and gimblett thought it wud be funny to scare them to look big and super powered! So we snucked up behind Dommy and hit his head with our stun rays to make him sleepy! It was very funny! Teach didnt think it was funy…. :( Then teach sent us to detenshun….but it was kool cause that chick with the blue hair and pointy ears kept lookin at me and smiling, maybe i can hav a partee wiv her…….

*Message is followed by 1000 lines of "I will not swear on the field twip"*

What I did on my field twip to the bawroniey.

On our class field twip we visited the bawroniey to studay some prwimattives. When we arivedd we saw lots of tree and rocks and things. Mr Jones sed we was to be quet til some prwimattives apeered and we were then we werent cause it was booring. we waited for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours but nothing came so we played tip. Mr jones got all angry and made us stand still and play simon sez and gimble was nauty and got shouted at and then we had lunch. after ages and ages we met a prwimattive he fell down a hill just like in the storys my mummy tells me. then mr jones tolds us about the stuff in the barony and there were huumans and orkks and ogres and things. then he showed us a tree and asked us what it was and we say goblin tree and we was rite. then cos no prwimattives came we went and looked for them and we walked and walked and then we found them. they woor armor and it was al strange and shiny and they had it cause mr jones said they were stoopid. i met biskitt and he had a clok and it was all flluffffy and biskitt tole me how to spel flluffffy and i assked him if i could keep him and i siad he could live on my shelf next to my stuff and he said he didn’t like shelfs cause he bin there before so i sia d what about my cubord but he said now. then i tol him about mu flurry and how it changes color and he liked it and he gave me a ballooooon but hobbit popped it and then he gave me anozer balllooon and then i felt all sleepy and when i woke up my balloon was gone and so was hobbit and gimble. i also met orchid he was a bigger kid and he was angry cos he was grounded i have never been grounded before wots it like and i also met imnotalkingtoyou and he did not talk to me and he had armour and then we left. i have a drawn a picture but i left it at home so ill bring it tomorrow and im gonna send biskit a thank you letter cos i was told to for the ballooon and ill draw him a picture to.
The End.

Dominic age 7